From Our Founder: I Don't Think Moms Need to Be Graded
Opening Reflection
I’ve sat with many mothers in therapy rooms, in community spaces, and on the other end of messages that start with: “I’m trying my best, but I still feel like I’m failing.” And every time, I want to hold their hand and say—“Who’s grading you?”
There is no final exam for motherhood. No rubric for the “perfect parent.” And still, mothers—especially those raising children while healing themselves—carry invisible report cards filled with guilt, comparison, and exhaustion.
I don’t think moms need to be graded.
Real Talk: The Pressure to Perform
Whether it’s social media reels, school events, doctor’s appointments, or even well-meaning comments from relatives, the expectations placed on mothers often feel impossible. Nurturing, financially supporting, meal-prepping, attending every milestone—then still finding time to “bounce back.”
We live in a society that uplifts motherhood on Mother’s Day, but often abandons mothers in everyday moments. The pressure to “get it all right” creates a silent epidemic of burnout and shame.
And let’s be honest: the “grades” moms think they’re receiving? They’re almost always internalized. Rooted in systems, messages, and unrealistic ideals that don’t reflect the full truth.
Reframing the Narrative
Instead of asking, “Am I doing enough?” what if we asked:
“Am I being present?”
“Am I aligned with my child’s needs today?”
“Am I showing up from my own truth, not from fear?”
These questions invite presence over perfection. Connection over comparison. And they allow us to parent from a place of identity, healing, and love—not performance.
Holding Space for All Caregivers
Let me be clear—this isn’t a post against fathers. In fact, I believe deeply in co-parenting, shared responsibility, and affirming the often under-acknowledged emotional labor of fathers, too.
But this message is about the sacredness of parenting as a whole.
When we stop grading mothers, we allow parenting to be more collaborative, authentic, and human. We make room for each caregiver—moms, dads, grandparents, partners, chosen family—to show up in the fullness of who they are. Not as performers. As people.
An Invitation
At Points of Origin, we don’t believe in grading parents. We believe in supporting them. Through reflective services like InternChat, somatic-based counseling, and parenting support groups like United to Survive, we’re creating space for real-life caregivers with real-life emotions.
Because parenting isn’t about earning an A+.
It’s about raising whole children while learning to be whole ourselves.
To all the mothers, fathers, and caregivers reading this: You’re not being graded here. You’re being seen.
